Joke thread

[oxidettt]

Well i did a search on this and i didnt find any other joke threads and i thought we needed one.

Post your jokes too if you will

[oxidettt]

Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can't get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf and the other hooker grunting "One, two three, uhh...one, two three, uhh..." In the morning, the second dwarf says to the first dwarf, "So how was it?" The first dwarf says, "It sucked. I couldn't get a hard-on all night." The second dwarf says, "You think that's bad? I couldn't even get up on the f**king bed."

[oxidettt]

"Three rings of marriage: engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. "

[oxidettt]

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, "Quick pour me twelve drinks." So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back as fast as he could, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast." The guys says, "Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got." The bartender says, "What've you got?" The guy says, "75 cents."

[SkaterBrett]

Theres already a thread exactually like this.

[oxidettt]

oops...how do i delete this thread then?

[oxidettt]

Soz but i couldnt find the other jokes threads...Here's another funny

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning.”

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?”

[Viper]

yo momma's so fat, when she wanted to feel skinny, she stood next to the twin towers.

yo momma's so ugly, the roaches don't even kick it at her house.
(those were made up by my bro)
__________________________________________________ _________
ur so ugly, when u were born, ur mom died.

ur so ugly, when u were born, the doctor quit his job

yo momma's so fat, the aliens abducted her thinkin she was a cow :|
(i made those up)

__________________________________________________ _________

ur teeth r so yellow, when u close ur mouth ur stomach glows

ur momma's so fat, when she walks, her butt claps

ur lips are so big, they look like bunkbeds
(heard those on TV :-P)

[oxidettt]

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.

[Ramp]